im having a threesome with these popsicles
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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