So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
