Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
