i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
