Im at strip club and am horny
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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