I want to have your abortion
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?