Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  I like my sex mixed with concussions.

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  (858): I like my sex mixed with concussions. http://tfl.nu/qysd
  Replies (6) Good night (1163) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me

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  (815): Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me http://tfl.nu/z1h9
  Replies (2) Good night (1160) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.

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  (517): Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever. http://tfl.nu/y7ox
  Replies (47) Good night (4201) Bad night (1360)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.

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  (925): curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high. http://tfl.nu/vy6k
  Replies (12) Good night (2998) Bad night (1356)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??

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  (816): I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right?? http://tfl.nu/udb6
  Replies (31) Good night (7893) Bad night (1376)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.

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  (972): It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians. http://tfl.nu/8vkd
  Replies (18) Good night (4822) Bad night (1648)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun

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  (315): Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun http://tfl.nu/t9ze
  Replies (20) Good night (962) Bad night (4833)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.

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  (970): I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat. http://tfl.nu/yfuv
  Replies (13) Good night (2280) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"

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  (778): we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go" http://tfl.nu/uvr2
  Replies (3) Good night (3331) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.

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  (516): He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something. http://tfl.nu/60sr
  Replies (7) Good night (2194) Bad night (1350)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.

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  (816): I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong. http://tfl.nu/3jnj
  Replies (4) Good night (587) Bad night (1204)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house

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  (503): Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house http://tfl.nu/makx
  Replies (5) Good night (942) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????

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  (913): Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise. (816): Sooo grey goose Tuesday????? http://tfl.nu/cvqv
  Replies (6) Good night (1175) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.

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  (443): Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again. http://tfl.nu/8fgb
  Replies (0) Good night (838) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.

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  (914): the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day. http://tfl.nu/xrh0
  Replies (4) Good night (712) Bad night (343)

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