i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
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What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
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Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.