she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?