But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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