well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.