I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
