i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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