Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Need sex. Gaining weight.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
