She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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