I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just googled if crying burns calories
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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