He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
