I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
