she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
