I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
