I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
