Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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