Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaΓt comercial?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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