Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
