your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
