She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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