she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
