strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
