I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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