Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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