how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
