It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
