No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize