New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I want a musical about memes.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
