But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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