you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize