Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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