he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
