I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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