So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
