STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
