Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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