I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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