my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
