I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
