Buhtt sex?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
