Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
