just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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