I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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