It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
