loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
mondays should just be called national damage control day
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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