when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
