Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
