I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she looked like the before picture.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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