i always forget guys have bellybuttons
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
