i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
