How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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