Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
