Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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