how can u be prego again
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize