people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
