how can u be prego again
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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